The Little Voices
by yaoigirl22
Summary: Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the boy who defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the boy who's apparently crazy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do now own Harry Potter.**

**Warnings: Borderline crack (I say that becuase it looks like I have some kind of plot) Hinted Slash.**

**A/N: Okay, not sure where this came from or if I should continue it what do you guys think? **

* * *

**T****he Little Voices **

_He is so hot!_

Harry had long since known he was crazy, he accepted it, told his two best friends they accepted, told all the Gryffindors and oddly enough they had accepted it. He told Sirius and Remus and they gave him a weary look but accepted it none the less.

_Just look at those hands, you know you want to be handled like that!_

**And that voice! Just makes you melt!**

He was pretty sure it had something to do with Voldemort or maybe he was just dropped on the head as a baby, or maybe his mom took drugs well she was pregnant with him, or maybe she stood near the microwave, they say you're not supposed to do that while with child. Something about radiation and all that… it didn't matter though, what did matter was that he had little voices in his head, which talked to him.

**God I bet he hung like a horse!**

Really perverted voices that were currently molesting his potions professor.

"Mr. Potter"

_Omg! _

**Omg!**

"Yes, sir?"

"I've been calling you for the past three minutes"

"Sorry sir"

"Indeed, would you be so kind as to tell me and the class what has you so occupied"

**Us bent over your desk and you screwing our brains out!**

"It's probably best if you don't know sir"

Hermione Ron and the Gryffindor all snorted, knowing all too well what was going on in their Golden Boy's head. This did not help their Professor's mood.

"Oh, really then I suppose you don't mind if you have a detention, tonight 7 and don't be late"

_Yes he going to punish us, I hope he spanks us!_

Harry just groaned and let his head hit the table.

* * *

He wasn't sure why he was here, okay he knew why he was here and it still annoyed the hell out of him, then again…. eyes narrowed and a feral grinned appeared as he watched the children go about. Perhaps there were some benefits to this.

He did need new members.

"You two are a source of evil, you know that right?"

**Aww, you know you love us**

Harry grumbled as he entered and took his seat next to Ron and Neville, the two ignored it already use to this behavior, though it did amaze them that no one else notice Harry's odd behavior.

"THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE!"

…Then again

Up at the head table Severus raised a brow at the boy's outburst, as well as everyone else, well the Gryffindors snickered, and Severus got the feeling that this was normal.

The question was why anyone didn't notice before?

Severus went back to eating, not even caring, it wasn't his problem.

Oh how wrong he was.

_He's looking at us!_

**Quick do something sexy!**

"Like what?"

_See that banana_

"For the last time no"

**Fine, the strawberries then.**

"What am I going to do with those?"

_Welll….._

"Never mind"

"Harry pass the Pumpkin Juice"

"Here you go"

**Okay, so no bananas, or strawberries…how about an orange?**

"How does that work?"

_I think it's in the Karma Sutra._

...Harry was pretty sure it was the microwave that did it.

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**_Um...so should I continue or what? _**

**_Review Please!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry this took so long!**

* * *

**The Little Voices **

"Mr. Potter" Severus said as greeting when the boy entered the room.

_Eeek!_

_**Eeek!**_

Harry ignored the squealing voices as Severus started to tell him what he was to be doing during his detention, which was not surprising, cleaning out cauldrons. Toning the Professor out Harry wondered what the voices found so appealing about the Potion Master.

Sure when he walked there was this grace about him almost predatory sometimes, the man's voice was smooth like melted chocolate and made Harry shiver, so what if his dark black eyes were sometimes so hypnotizing or that when the light hit just right they looked like a dark blue. So what if sometimes Harry spent to long staring at the man's long fingers that were precise and gentle when he was demonstrating how to do a Potion correctly or that he stared at the man's rather attractive backsi—

The Gryffindor felt his face get warm, Merlin! He had a crush on Snape!

_That's what we've been trying to tell you!_

_**No go over there and let that sexy man have his wicked way with you!**_

"Mr. Potter"

"Yes!?" Harry squeaked, face as red as an tomato.

Severus stared at him before pointing to the dirty cauldrons stacked on the table in the corner.

"Get to it" the man said.

Harry nodded and quickly made his way over, eyes avoiding the man's, Severus watched him go before going over to his desk, muttering about Gryffindors.

Harry ignored both the Professor and the voices as he grabbed the already wet sponge and began to furiously scrub.

"_How did this happen?" _he thought, _"__**when**__ did this happen?"_

_**During your first year, when you realized that Severus wasn't going to treat you like a celebrity as everyone else does.**_

_It also kind of intensified when Dumbledore told you that Severus tried to save you, and proably when he protected you and your friends from Moony. _

"But how did I not _**know**_?" Harry said rather loudly, getting a look from said person they were talking about.

_I think trying to avoid getting killed had something to do with, it's supposed to mess with brain cells or something._

_**But now you do know, so start planning on how to have hot kinky monkey sex with Mr. Tall Dark And Yummy over there.**_

Harry's face once again became red.

_I totally agree with that, especially the kinky part._

Harry scrubbed harder.

* * *

After detention where Harry was convinced he would forever be permanently red-faced, especially after listening to the voices go into detail on what they wanted Snape to do with the Savior, Harry entered the Gryffindor common room. The moment he saw Hermione curled up in a chair, reading as always, he went over and clung to the bookworm.

"Hermione!" he whined burring his face in her shoulder, "I have a crush on Snape!"

"Professor Snape" Hermione automatically corrected as she put her book down, she then petted the boy's head, "and of course you do"

Harry looked up at her, "You knew?" he asked.

"Harry you have two voices in your head that fawn and drool over the man, of course I know, everyone knows…well expect for you and the Professor"

"….Even Ron?"

"Yes, even Ronald"

_Okay, that's just not fair._

Harry agreed with voice, for when it came to crushes Ron was oblivious to them (especially towards a certain Bushy haired bookworm).

"Is it so bad?" Hermione then asked, pulling the boy away from his thoughts.

"What is?"

"Having a crush on Professor Snape?"

No, it wasn't actually. To be honest Harry was more upset over the fact that he was just now realizing what apparently was obvious to everyone else (expect the person of his affections), then him having a crush (and maybe more considering how long this crush have been going on) on the bane of every Gryffindor's existence.

"No, it doesn't" Harry finally answered.

"That's good, so are you going to go for it then?"

_Yes!_

_**Hell yes!**_

"Definitely"

The grin that then appeared on Hermione's face made Harry gulp.

_**I don't like that look at all.**_

_I think we should get the hell out of Dodge…like right now._

Harry didn't get far.

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**_And what should our dear and lovely Hermione do to "help" our Harry? Any ideas?_**

**_Review Please!_**


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